The Bane of My Existence

Teenagers. It is sad that more often than not, when I'm asked if I could do anything over what would it be; my answer is "I would not have had children". My husband and I have a responsibility to our children...keep them safe, teach them responsibility, teach them to have good character, manners, to be thoughtful, to be appreciative, to have a good work ethic, to have values, to take advantage of education and always do your very best, to honor your family. It's difficult. It's exhausting. It's taxing on a relationship. It's never over.


We've learned a lot along the way from books, counselors, experience, friends, family, James Lehman's program http://www.thetotaltransformation.com/ and more. If given the chance we would have done things differently. We would improve upon what we thought was right.


Spencer John, our youngest (14). Our very talented musician.

We would have been much tougher on dishonesty. We would have been more consistent with expectations and follow-through. We would have spent more time in church. We would never had allowed sleep-overs. We would have had our children volunteer more for the elderly, the less fortunate, children's hospitals, soup kitchens, etc. We would have spent more time in the living room taking turns reading a book and left the TV off.

I remember when our children were babies, toddlers, starting school...people would see how happy we were...these people had teenagers and they would say (what we thought was cruel) things to us like "oh, enjoy them now", "little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems", "oh, wait until they are teenagers" and on and on and on. Back then, we didn't like it and we were sure those comments would never be made by us. It was different with our kids. Yeah, right!!

Austin Dennis, our oldest (17). Our college student.

Sneaking out, drugs, alcohol, lies, bad grades, bad choices in friends, laziness, know-it-alls, playing parents against each other, talking back, name-calling, judgemental, rudeness...these are the things we live with. We did not teach our children to do these things, but apparently, we didn't work hard enough, or do enough of the right things to keep our kids from learning these things, and learning them well. Or maybe we just haven't seen it yet...that we have taught them well.

It's not always bad, it's not always exhausting, it's not always taxing. But it is always. They are always our children, we will always love them and we will always keep trying to teach them to do the right thing.

On another note...to end this rant in a positive way...today is our 24th Wedding Anniversary. We plan to spend the afternoon together doing things we never get to do...like going to the Flea Market to scout out antiques. That really will be wonderful!